Want to get smarter? Have a kid.

The human brain makes new cells constantly over a lifetime, but the cells are most likely to survive and flourish when challenged with emotional and novel experiences. Scientists now say that parenthood provides the perfect "revolution for the brain."

After all, what could be more challenging than teaching a person to use the toilet? Or figuring out which cry means "I'm hungry?" Or coming up with new and different ways to disguise green vegetables?

Leading neuroscientists across the country are studying the ways that parenthood -- and, in particular, motherhood -- strengthens our mental abilities. One study showed that mother lab rats, like working mothers, excel at time management and efficiency, racing through mazes to get back to their babies as quickly as possible. Other research revealed that hormones created by labor and breastfeeding are linked to the ability to learn.

Katherine Ellison explores this concept in her book, The Mommy Brain. I heard Ellison talk about the mental gymnastics required by motherhood on my local pubic radio station, as I drove home from a late-night run to the drugstore for gas drops to administer to my newborn.

I laughed out loud when she said the mommy brain is a smarter brain, but then I realized just how often I apply complex problem solving skills in my job as a work-at-home mom. Dads aren't exactly slouches in this department, either. Keeping these kids alive is a lot of work, y'all.

Did parenthood make you smarter? Do you agree with Ellison, or is it just more mother-knows-best propaganda?

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The number one recommendation for avoiding sudden infant death syndrome or SIDS is to have babies sleep on their backs. In addition, get a firm mattress and avoid soft bedding. According to new research coming from doctors at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, California, there's an additional measure you can take: turn on a fan.

This does not replace the existing recommendations, of course, but adds to them. "If parents want to take an extra measure, they should consider using a fan," says Dr. De-Kun Li, the lead researcher in the study. Dr. Li, a reproductive and perinatal epidemiologist, found that using a fan reduced the incidence of SIDS by 72%. If the temperature in the baby's room was sixty-nine degrees or higher, the fan helped even more -- cutting the risk by 94% versus not using a fan.

It seems to me that putting a fan on is a simple enough thing to do and if it makes that big a difference, I can't see any reason not to. I think we'll be running out for a fan this weekend for sure.

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Presidential nominee John McCain allegedly had a date set with actress Jenny McCarthy. The topic of their discussion? Not love but, rather autism, and specifically the link between the condition and the use of thimerosal in the vaccines McCarthy believes cause autism.

McCarthy was eager to meet with McCain after learning he believes there may be a link as well, and apparently flew herself out for a meeting with the Republican senator to try to make autism a major part of the presidential campaign.

According to reports, however, McCain backed out after his flack decided the subject matter was too controversial. Right, like presidential nominees should avoid discussing anything controversial! If they did all they'd end up doing at debates was drinking Yoohoos! Although not attributed anywhere, the post on IMDB claims McCain also bailed after learning there is no hard evidence linking vaccines with thimerosal and autism. Either way, McCain declined to meet with the former Playboy centerfold (huge mistake, dude!) and McCarthy has now set her sites on meeting with Senator Obama.

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When it comes to online schooling, Florida is leading the way. The state already funds two online kindergarten through eighth grade schools as well as one that offers middle and high school courses. Last year, more than 57,000 students took advantage of the opportunity to take some of their classes through the Florida Virtual School, but very few opted to take all of their courses online. But with a new state law going into effect next year, more students will have the option to do just that - beginning in kindergarten.

The new law not only allows Florida school districts to create their own full-time online schools, it requires that they do so by the 2008-2009 school year. "The rest of the country will be watching to see how it goes," said Julie Young, president and chief executive officer of Florida Virtual School and a board member of the North American Council for Online Learning.

Some are concerned about private companies who sell online curriculum profiting from public education dollars and others worry about the financial implications of the law's reference to providing computers and Internet access to students 'when appropriate'. But what would concern me the most is the social impact on a child who never actually spends time in a classroom with other children.

While I do think online classes (as well as home-schooling) can be appropriate for some students some of the time, I have a hard time imagining an entire generation of children who never attend school. A brick-and-mortar school not only provides book-learning, but social learning as well. For many children, the classroom is where they practice and perfect their budding social skills - cooperation with others, listening quietly, following rules, sitting still. What becomes of all of that when the classroom is at home? Would you let your child be an exclusive online learner?

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Call it what you will - bashful, timid, reserved - shyness can be very difficult for kids to manage on their own. Luckily, there are ways you can help your child relax and navigate what is for them the often terrifying waters of social interaction.

A recent article in the Detroit Free Press laid out a series of common-sense steps parents can take to ease their little ones' fears.

The first step is recognizing that your child is, indeed, shy. Don't downplay what he or she is feeling, because their anxiety is very, very real. Acknowledge that yes, she may be bashful, but that doesn't mean she'll spend her life as a hermit. With preparation, she can learn to function well in social situations.

Begin by exposing your kids to peer interactions at a very early age. Toddler playgroups are a great way to help kids gain confidence in group situations, and as a bonus, it's nice to have other adults to talk to, as well. You can also help ease your child's path by placing him or her in situations with a good adult-to-child ratio. By doing so, you ensure there are enough adults to prevent bad behavior and promote positive interactions.

Also, take time to prepare your child before entering a social situation to eliminate anticipatory anxiety, and arrange for playdates at your home, so he or she is in a familiar environment.

I was a chronically shy kid who dreaded making new friends and broke into a sweat just thinking about group social situations. After years of practice, I learned that meeting new people can actually be fun. It hurts to watch your kids suffer, but don't despair - just because she's a shrinking violet right now doesn't mean she can't blossom into a social butterfly later in life.

Are you outgoing or chronically shy? Is your child the same or the opposite, and how do you handle it?

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Do you and your partner argue about educating your kid?

We do.

My husband taught elementary school for nine years, and he saw a lot of kids who couldn't count to 10 or spell their own names in first grade. I know that shaped his views, but we still differ when it comes to just how prepared our three-year-old daughter should be when she enters kindergarten.

My style of teaching is organic – pointing out the letters on a stop sign or counting lemons as we load them into the grocery cart. My husband is much more intense, wanting to sit down and actually teach our wiggly girl to read and write and count to 100.

I tend to believe that kids today are pushed way too hard to be at the first-grade level in preschool. When did you learn to read? I was six years old when I read my first chapter book – and that was considered "advanced" in 1976. And guess what? I turned out to be a professional writer.

Try telling that to my Ivy League-educated spouse. He was an early reader and excelled in music, and his educational career is culminating with his current position as a doctoral fellow. He says it isn't just desire to learn that's important. Parents, he says, have to set high expectations to create high achievers.

Parents are pushing their kids so hard that smart isn't even good enough. Now, if your child isn't "gifted," he or she might as well just give up and plan for a career in panhandling.

When did "average" (or heck, even "smart") become such a dirty word?

There are plenty of things you can do to enhance your child's natural talents -- foster a love for words by reading to them, show them how the world is ordered with numbers. But academic preschools and elementary-school tuition bills that rival those of elite universities? Not for me.

Are they for you?

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Hard to believe but it's already flu season again. Or, to be more accurate, it's really (hopefully) flu PREVENTION season. This week the Center for Disease Control whipped out a new, stronger than ever campaign to get pregnant women and young children vaccinated. This campaign, of course, is not without its controversy. Not so long ago, one of our commenters seemed to think the topic of vaccinations was my high horse, as I write about it frequently, but I can assure you that's not the case. I'm a parent, too, with the same concerns as many of you regarding vaccines and children's health--I'm just interested in getting as much information as possible and seeing how the whole thing turns out.

According to the CDC, children as young as six months of age should be getting flu vaccinations. It strongly recommended vaccinations for kids up to eighteen years old, pregnant women, healthcare workers and anyone over the age of fifty. Seems harmless enough, right? I mean, most of us have gotten at least one flu shot in our lives and for the most part we turned out OK. The problem with the flu vaccine, which contains thimerosal, is that thimerosal contains mercury. Yep, mercury. Rather DANGEROUS. Now, that said, we've all been assured that even if it did contain said mercury, the amount would be no more than that in a small can of tuna. Contrary to that, however, are the findings that the kind of mercury found in thimerosal differs from that found in tuna (methyl mercury) in that it stays in the system, namely the brain, for a lot longer period of time. This is not great news for a developing fetal brain.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists claim that pregnant women should be getting this vaccine and that there isn't any evidence of harmful effects to women or their unborn children. According to some that notion is quite misleading as it implies that tons of tests and research has been done on the subject, when, in fact, it has not. Still, what would my pediatrician say? Well, he'd tell me that the chances of something happening to my child as a result of the flu vaccine are a great deal smaller than what might happen if he remained unvaccinated. When one weighs the odds from that perspective the vaccination wins out.

Clearly, more research is needed and the results well-established before we make any uniform decisions with respect to vaccinating our children--unborn or not. The other side of the argument? Opt for what my pediatrician did--offer flu shots without thimerosal. Hopefully, pregnant women can get that option too.

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One would think the obvious answer to that question is yes. One would surmise that exercise would help anyone stop smoking, right? After all, you're striving to do something healthy, sort of the opposite of smoking, by getting out there and running or doing yoga or whatever it is, not to mention that raising your heart rate and panting and whatnot is a little easier when you have full use of your lungs. Only problem is, smoking is touted as nearly impossible to quit--it's just that addictive.

We've been told for years and years now how bad it is for pregnant women to smoke. Children of pregnant women run the risk of a number of problems including low birth weight, asthma and increased risk of infant mortality. According to researchers, seventeen percent of British women and twenty percent of American women profess to smoke during pregnancy. Exercise is seen as a great way to assist in the cessation of the notoriously hard to kick habit and is considered a much safer option than nicotine patches, which are seen as possibly harmful to the unborn child.

In a study recently conducted in Britain, women were asked to exercise and given weekly smoking cessation counseling. Twenty-five percent of the 32 women tested were able to give up smoking before they gave birth. It has been suggested that the physical activity alleviated cravings. A new study by the same researchers will focus on a group of 850 women in an effort to uncover more data.

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Research has shown that girls who get their period earlier on are at higher risk of breast cancer, depression and teen pregnancy. There are a lot of factors that can contribute to reaching puberty earlier, including obesity, nutrition, and exposure to chemicals. Now, there's another factor that appears to trigger earlier onset of puberty: fathers -- specifically fathers who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, are abusive, or are involved in criminal activity.

It's not so much the living with an abusive or drug-using father, however, that spurred the early development as it was his leaving. The theory is that the girls are responding to a "window of opportunity" by developing faster. "In the world in which humans evolved, dangerous or unstable home environments meant a shorter lifespan, and going into puberty earlier in this context increased chances of surviving, reproducing and passing on your genes," said Professor Bruce Ellis who worked on the study.

It seems to me that the practical application of this information is not that abusive fathers should necessarily stick around, but that fathers shouldn't be such a problem in the first place. This is just one more reason to work really hard to be the best father possible.

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I am not one to run to the doctor every time my kid has an ache or a pain. But yesterday, after about a week of hearing my just-turned-eight-year-old girl complain about sore nipples, I decided it was time to call in a professional. The diagnosis was shocking: breast buds.

Of course, as shocking as the news was, it didn't come as a complete surprise. I am a girl, after all, and have a little experience with growing breasts myself. However, the only thing I had developed by the age of eight was poor vision and a slight overbite.

The doctor assures me that the appearance of breast buds does not mean we will be buying bras by Christmas. But within as few as three years, Ellie will most likely begin filling out her tops in a whole new way. And of course, all that other puberty-related fun will commence as well.

Sitting in the doctor's office, Ellie and I had completely different reactions to the doctor's words. While my mouth fell open in disbelief, hers broke into the biggest smile you've ever seen. She was so excited about her budding breasts, she went back to school and told everyone who would listen. I went home and felt sad.

Today, I realize that maybe I didn't handle this milestone very well and have decided that for Ellie's sake, I will embrace her baby-step into womanhood. In fact, I will celebrate it. Her body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do, however early it may be. I just hope she won't be the only kid in her fifth grade class wearing a bra.

I read an article on babble from a mother who decided, along with her husband, to not send her child to kindergarten this fall. Instead the couple are planning on home-schooling their son, along with a group of other New York City-based parents with the same idea. Upon initial read of the article, I didn't really get much of a takeaway. In fact, it seemed like homeschooling better suited the lifestyles of the parents than serving as a decision based on the child's needs. That said, it seems like parents know their children better than anyone else, and therefore should know what method of learning is best suited for their kids. The author had her reasons for doing what she did--or, rather, not doing what she would have--and she should be given cred for making such a decision.

Some of the other parents in the homeschooling group felt that the schools were too focused on testing and not really teaching kids what they needed to know, etc. Standardized testing really has taken hold of our community, and both parents and teachers have felt the uncomfortable crunch. Parents are starting to feel their children aren't being taught how to learn anymore, just what to learn. I can see a real argument for homeschooling.

But, is that the right reason to pull a kid out of school? Is any reason good enough? Or, to the contrary, do the schools need to start proving to us they can offer more than what we as parents can do for our children? If schools aren't listening to the needs of parents and children then what is the point? I personally don't know enough about proper education and the education system to be able to make a decision as hard as keeping my child out of school. Others seem to have it all worked out, down to ordering specific, home-based curriculum to teach their kids themselves. Some prefer to let the child learn more freestyle, and eschew more traditional methods. I'll tell you right now the last thing my kid needs is for me to be his main teacher! It's terrifying to me to even begin to think about everything I think he ought to know, and then how I would get all that knowledge to him. He'd be better off learning from our weiner dog!

So who's right? Do parents know enough to be able to make decisions like homeschooling for their kids? Does the education system really serve our needs and is it really preparing our children for the future? I think the answer probably lies somewhere outside both those things, but only time will tell.

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Who doesn't love babies? Those chubby arms and legs, those tiny hands and feet, those big round heads - they just ooze cuddly adorableness. But let's face it, as cute as they are, babies just don't have that much to offer when it comes to helping out around the house. Ask a baby to pour you a glass of juice and all you will get is a blank stare. Need to go somewhere and can't find your keys? Better get searching yourself because baby won't lift a finger to help you out. Or will she?

According to a new study out of Germany, babies aren't as clueless as you may think. Conventional wisdom holds that until about the age of two, babies aren't very good communicators. But it turns out that just because babies can't talk, doesn't mean they don't have something to tell you. Like where you left your keys.

Researchers at the Max Planck Institute asked 49 one-year-olds to help their parents search for an object that had fallen out of sight when the parent wasn't looking. Most of the babies were actually able to help - communicating non-verbally to show the parent the location of the missing object. The report says: "One-year-olds, before they have language skills, can point informatively and communicate appropriately for ignorant adults."

But the babies in the study weren't about to go locating objects for adults who didn't actually need their help. When an object fell out of sight while the parent was watching, the babies were less likely to share their knowledge of where it went. "In contrast to classic views of infant communication, infants' early pointing at 12 months is already based on an understanding of others' knowledge and ignorance, along with a motive to help others," said researcher Malinda Carpenter.

A motive to help others! That just makes me love babies even more.

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Do you have a favorite child? I don't mean at this moment -- you know, because one of them is having a bad day and is driving you nuts -- I mean always, consistently, day in and day out. Do you like one of your children more than the other(s)? Do you love one of them more?

Some mothers say yes, absolutely.

In an article in the Daily Mail, three moms talk, honestly and openly, about loving one child more deeply than their other children. They have various reasons -- the favored child is more like the mother, for example, or the less-loved child was born under difficult circumstances -- but still it begs the larger question: do ALL moms favor one child?

I can say honestly that I do not love one of my children more than the other. Sure, there are days when I like one of them more, and there are days when one of them needs to be loved more than his brother, but I don't ever remember feeling like I didn't love them both with my entire heart and soul. Or is that little bit of not liking, of wanting the whining or the tantrum or the incessant talking to stop, is that what these women mean when they say they don't love that child as much as the other?

What do you think -- do you love all your children equally, or do you have a favorite? And if you do, how do you deal with that?

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"Make two piles," I told my five-year-old. "Those you want to keep and the ones you want to give away." I left her sitting in front of a gigantic basket of stuffed animals, about a quarter of her collection. We were spending the day organizing the girls' bedroom and playroom, and this year, I thought they might be big enough to know which toys they no longer wanted or needed.

Silly me.

Ten minutes later, she hollered in to me. "I'm done." A pause, and the, "Wait. Mama? I think I'm going to put the one I put in the giveaway pile back into the keep pile, ok?" I let out a deep sigh as she shoved the entire basket back into the closet, where it will surely sit until we clean and organize next time. My kids can't part with anything.

So I did what I always do -- set them up with a snack and some coloring books and did the job myself. Now their room is clean and organized, and no one yet has noticed even one of the several bags of toys missing, Freecycled and picked up by a mom of a one-year-old.

Still, it feels deceitful. So I'm wondering -- do you tell your young children when you're giving away their old toys, or are you sneaky like me? And at what age do they really start to be able to part with things they don't use any more?

Suicide rates among the nation's youth continue to climb. Many experts fear the reason for this is due to fewer antidepressants being prescribed. After a fifteen-year decline the rates are climbing--what was seen as a possibly random increase in 2004 was repeated in 2005. The outcome of the study of 2004 and 2005 tracked outcomes based on actual instances from 1996 through 2003. After more than a decade of decline, suicide rates among those from 10-19 years of age skyrocketed by 18% in 2004, the largest increase in a one-year time period over fifteen years. Researcher Jeff Bridge feels, based on this study, that we could be on the verge of a public health crisis.

Bridges sites possible reasons for the increase, including online and social networking as well as returning from deployment overseas in Iraq along with the controversy over giving youth antidepressants. In a 2003 a public health advisory was issued noting children who were prescribed SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, were more likely to attempt suicide or engage in suicidal behavior. The result was the black box information on such medicines as well as doctors being less confident in prescribing them. In another study, however, Bridge noted that such treatment could be beneficial for children in the short-term.

According to Diana Zuckerman, National Research Center for Women & Families, children may be more likely to attempt suicide now due to the lagging economy, the stress of not having enough money for college and because those with depression go undiagnosed. She also noted a factor could be that families aren't spending enough time together.

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